As usual, at the end of the day I took a moment to reflect on what I had done, I looked closely at my actions, my choices, my decisions . I often judge myself, either to massage my ego, or beat myself for the mistakes I’ve made. I make a lot of mistakes, far more than I feel comfortable to admit publicly. It often seems that I do something wrong at least 2 or 3 times before I get it right. It’s most often things that involve my personal and business life. For some reason I have a habit of making decisions fast and not taking time to think about how the end result will effect my future. Its called instant gratification, and I have it pretty bad. Fortunately, it is only in my life, with others Im very protective. I think it comes with my desire to live on the edge, the thrill of risk, trying to achieve things that are seemingly unreachable. I always push harder and faster than what most would consider reasonable or conservative. Im just wired that way.
So what i realized tonight is even though I may make a lot of wrong decisions and usually do things the hard way, I have really come along way in a very short time. I stopped thinking that I was overwhelmed and working too many hours (all day on the beach , and long into the night preparing my new store). I actually felt a strong feeling of accomplishment regarding what I was actually doing. Im opening up a retail store in Malibu. That is pretty amazing and I had a sudden sense of joy and happiness. I stopped thinking that I was not good enough and lost any doubt in my mind that I was not prepared for the next chapter of my life. I’m actually a real businessman. I realize at 53 years old that sounds a bit silly, but everyone knows most surfers refuse to grow up.
Self doubt is common and it is usually based on fear. Just in case you didn’t know, Im a typical alpha male. I won’t often admit fear but today I am going to spill the beans on why many men are alpha male. FEAR, we fear having to accept that we are afraid to do something so we just do it and hope for the best. It doesn’t always turn out perfect, but, its better than the feelings I would have as a result of not doing something because I was afraid. I know, that sounds really dumb but it is the truth. I just can’t seem to feel comfortable knowing that I quit or ran away because I was scared. It is called fight or flight. I have always chose the fight over the flight. I think it is very common among the majority of my friends as well. The ocean played the major roll in grooming me. From childhood I’ve challanged the sea, and often put my life at risk because if the other guys were going out there I had no other choice than to go too . I realized today that Im good at taking risk and pushing the limits because Im afraid not too. This may be the most odd epiphany I have ever had, but it makes perfect sense to me. If you have not read my customer reviews yet, please do. I real have nothing to fear at all. http://www.yelp.com/biz/radfish-malibu-malibu-2.